Am I Blue by Bette Midler

"That was a really terrific song."

Am I blue is how I am feeling today. My writing world took a turn upwards after the WriMo in November, or so I thought. I got together with some of the ladies that frequent my Saturday morning critique group. (I can call it mine here but not where others can hear me.) This group of ladies have been coming to my house on Friday evenings as a novel group for about six weeks. Since the first of the year. We lost one lady right off the bat due to creative differences. It has been a good but tenuous working environment most days. I lost my cool the other night when one member started suggesting changes to the schedule of the Saturday group, again. My slow but able fingers shot back. I truly regret the rashness of my words but failed to stop myself at the time.

In the mail I received the latest edition of Writers Digest and was blown away by the timely and freakishly close to the chest article "Critiquing Critique Clubs." After reading it and thinking about the current situation I have a big question. When is it the right time to leave a group as its leader? I inherited the Saturday group from a previous leader. I vowed to keep it going. It was a promise to myself. I could have let it slip through my fingers many times over the last almost ten years but kept pulling it along. With the increasing tension among some of the members and my own waning interest in keeping it going due to my interest in another group something has to change. Can I let it go? That question has two sides to it. Can I personally let it go? It has been a part of me so long but it really hasn't helped me to move forward in my writing. Has it become just something to do to keep that writing thread going? The second thing that I question is if I let it go will I lose that connection with the other writers? I respect and have become friends with some of them. I would hate to lose that as well. I feel I am in a catch-22 situation. Apologies are necessary but that only takes care of the now. What happens in the future when this situation arises again?

All presidents, rulers and leaders have to step down eventually. Is it time for me to move on?

Time to make a decision.